Burnout Recovery is an Inside Job
Burnout arises when the demands on our time and energy exceeds our capacity. So here, I’ve got a simple solution to burnout for you: Do less.
Wait a second. What’s that? Easier said than done, you say? You can’t just tell your boss or your customers or your loved ones that you’re not gonna do the things you absolutely need to do? Huh. Ok, well shit.
I’m reminded of the Alcoholics Anonymous Serenity Prayer. It goes, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” Sometimes we can’t change many of the material conditions of our lives–we can’t quit our jobs or give our family members up for adoption–but it is possible to suffer less by focusing our energy upon the things we can control. Most often, what we can control is ourselves.
In AA they say that recovery is an “inside job,” meaning it’s a deeply personal, often internal process that requires self reflection, a shift in mindset, and emotional regulation to develop healthier habits. I argue that burnout recovery requires a similar process.
Internal Boundaries
They say, “Don’t take work home with you.” And by all means, if you can, don’t do work outside of work hours. But sometimes the hardest part of not taking work home with you, is not thinking about work while you should be focusing on what is in front of you at home or in your leisure time. Doing this requires setting internal boundaries about staying in the present moment.
How do we get better at this? Ooh, it’s not necessarily fun and you might not wanna hear it. It’s a buzzword: mindfulness. And how do we get better at practicing mindfulness? Formal meditation is one way. You don’t have to put on a sports bra or gym shorts to do it, but meditation is an exercise. Rather than strengthening our gluts or biceps, meditation helps us strengthen the mind-muscles that help us notice when our mind has wandered and gently refocus our attention on our anchor of awareness. That anchor of awareness can be your breath, a mantra, a body scan, or the movement of your body, for example yoga, tai chi, or walking meditation.
Informal mindfulness practices can look like the following:
Try not to get lost in thought while you focus on a chore like washing dishes, cooking dinner, or brushing your teeth.
Take a brief moment to clear your mind while saying an affirmation or taking a few deep breaths.
Spending time in nature, which has calming and engaging properties that facilitate mindfulness. Simply notice the natural world around you.
Emotional Regulation
Burnout arises from chronic stress. As part of our fight-flight-freeze response, our bodies release the hormone cortisol in response to stress. At first, cortisol can help us stay alert to perceived threats and get things done under pressure. But eventually, the impact of an unrelenting flood of cortisol may lead to diminished functioning. Some research suggests that chronic cortisol levels can impact our memory, cognition, and even our brain size. Ooof.
The utter exhaustion of burnout erodes our ability to effectively moderate our effort and practice discernment about what requires our attention. Often this leads to us putting our heads down and powering through all of our tasks until eventually we are spent and literally can no longer function.
There are SO MANY ways to improve emotional regulation related to stress. I would also encourage you to start with these:
The basics–Prioritize adequate sleep, eating well, and sufficient exercise.
Do activities that fill your cup, i.e. replenish your mental, emotional, and physical energy. This is whatever makes you laugh, inspired, or feel emotionally safe.
Be gentle with yourself. Treat yourself like you would treat a friend. Try learning mindful self compassion.
Engage in Self Reflection
How we think about the work we do can significantly contribute to burnout. People-pleasing, perfectionism, over-functioning are culturally conditioned ways of relating that are the usual suspects but you likely have your own unique blend of beliefs, values, and attitudes that are no longer serving you. While it can sometimes feel quite fixed and difficult to change, our mindset is 100% within our control.
How is your mindset contributing to burnout? Journal, talk to a therapist or coach, and notice your thoughts and feelings when you make changes that may ameliorate burnout. Sometimes we can’t see our mindset at work until we start rocking the boat a bit.
Try this: Experiment with slacking off.
Humor me and just try to do a little less. It could be devoting less hours to work, doing less work during your usual work hours, or saying no to new opportunities. Now do even less. And next do EVEN MORE less until you start experiencing consequences. Then explore what thoughts and feelings come up for you.
Does perfectionism arise?
Do you feel unnecessary levels of guilt or shame?
Do you worry about being unliked?
Do you worry about being punished?
Are you more critical of yourself than you would be of someone else who made the same mistake?
Do you experience familiar feelings from childhood related to dynamics in your family of origin?
One of my clients recently had an out-of-town friend visit her during a work week. She decided to focus more energy on her friend and less energy on work and experienced the consequences. A meeting was missed due to a scheduling error and had to be rescheduled. Would the mistake have happened if the friend wasn’t visiting? Maybe. But she was able to reflect on her tendency to beat herself up for small mistakes and notice that she worried about disappointing her boss, who she identified as a father figure.
I mean, don’t go overboard with your slacking off. If you get a disciplinary action or fired, you’ve gone too far. But there can be something very freeing about facing our fears and allowing bad things to happen. Small crises allow the opportunity to practice self reflection and emotional regulation. Doing less until we face a small consequence shows us how little work we can get away with. You may find out that things you thought you absolutely needed to do are actually not that necessary. You may find the scope of your control is greater than you think.