know when to fold ‘em
I look like I have not a care in the world, snacking suggestively on a banana in my hiking gloves earlier this month, but this was a particularly high anxiety day for me. I drank more than my usual amount of caffeine to compensate for unintentionally waking up at 4:30am which left me feeling jittery.
I woke up early because I was nervous about what was to come: an 18-20 mile hike across The Enchantments in Washington.
The hike would require ascending nearly 2000 feet of elevation gain in 3/4 mile to Asgard pass. Unfortunately, I’ve gotten more afraid of heights over time. Just being a thousand+ feet higher than the surrounding terrain gives me vertigo, a type of dizziness that makes me feel like the ground is moving even when I'm standing still. The feeling makes my body scream DANGER! DANGER! even when there is no real threat.
When we stopped to rest in the shade of a large boulder, I struggled to eat. My stomach hurt and I felt nauseous, from the altitude or the heat or the vertigo, I'm not sure. I would take a bite of my smooshed peanut butter and honey sandwich and just let it sit there in my mouth, dry from anxiety, trying to force myself to chew and swallow.
I could not decide whether to keep going or turn around. Sitting there in uncertainty, physically and mentally uncomfortable and yet hesitant to let go of my goal, I was plagued by indecision not unlike the indecision we can face in burnout. Whether in career or mountain objective, it can be difficult to change course even if we are struggling. On one hand, we imagined ourselves achieving our objective and we have already invested a lot of time and energy to get there. On the other hand, we are miserable.
Country singer Kenny Rogers wisely says in his song, The Gambler, "You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." But how do we know when it's time to press on or to walk away? We often get stuck in this place of indecision. Annie Duke, author and professional poker player, gives us some tips for how to break out of analysis paralysis in her book, How to Decide. Here are four strategies to consider whether making a decision in the mountains or your career:
THE HAPPINESS TEST
Will the outcome of the decision likely have a significant effect on your happiness in a year? If not, Annie advises not to agonize over the decision. In burnout, you're likely looking for a change that will improve your quality of life. However, this strategy can be helpful to specifically address ego-driven concerns, e.g. "What will people think?" Fear of being perceived as a failure, unloyal, or unable to hack it in a role others seemingly are able to manage can hold us back from making career changes. But ask yourself if people will be thinking about your career change in a year, let alone a month? And will you care what they think if you are more content?
THE ONLY-OPTION TEST
Annie suggests that for any options you’re considering, ask yourself, “If this were the only option I had, would I be happy with it?” Sometimes you can think of multiple scenarios that may improve your burnout and aren't sure which path to follow. If you'd be happy with an outcome if it were the only choice, save yourself time agonizing over a decision and just flip a coin...And if you're disappointed by the outcome of the coin flip, then you have more information about which option you really want.
QUIT-TO-ITIVENESS
Choosing one thing means saying no to everything else. This is referred to as opportunity cost. While we are taught to value grit and stick-to-itiveness, Annie suggests that being willing and able to quit can be a powerful tool to defray opportunity costs and gain useful information about alternatives. Consider how easy it would be to quit or back pedal on your decision if it doesn't turn out the way you hoped. The lower the barrier to quit, the faster you can make up your mind. Let's say you're thinking about taking on a new role. If it's relatively easy to try out the new role and then change roles again or get your previous role back if you don't like it, then the decision should be easy. And, big bonus, you’ll have more information about what works and does not work for you.
WHEN A DECISION IS HARD, THAT MEANS IT’S EASY
Annie says that when you’re weighing two options that seem very close, then there is no wrong choice. Country crooner Kenny goes on to say in his song The Gambler, "Every hand's a winner. And every hand's a loser. And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep." So morbid but true. There’s good and bad in every decision. The best we can do is to choose a path and keep on moving because life is short.
Annie’s tools helped me make the decision to call it quits up there on Asgard Pass. And while I loathed giving up at the time, I have not once regretted it since. If you’re feeling stuck in your career, travel and leisure offers us opportunities to practice our decision making skills in lower-stakes environments. (That is, assuming you’re not ice climbing, big wave surfing, or base jumping.) Furthermore, it can offer those of us who identify as high-achieving, perfectionistic, or ambitious to practice our quit-to-itiveness. Check out one of Annie Duke's books, specifically How to Decide or Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away, for more help with decision making or quit-to-itiveness inspiration.
PS I've never been much of a country fan but a switch flipped in my brain and now I'm obsessed.